Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

You can piss in a jar and call it Granny's Peach Tea, but I'm not buying it Zack Snyder.

Batman v Superman is painfully bad. It's such a slog that watching all two and a half bloated hours is a draining emotional experience. It's poorly directed, murkily shot, shittily edited, and makes almost no sense. Everything about it is forced, including its reasons for Batman and Superman feuding with each other, and all of its setup for future Justice League movies. There are really only two worthwhile things about it. First, are the performances by Jeremy Irons, and Gal Gadot as Alfred and Wonder Woman. Their takes on these characters are a much needed breath of fresh air in this stale, soulless picture. And second, is Wonder Woman's integration as a character. She's weaved into the story well and presents a positive version of the character that's not only strong, but smarter than her male colleagues. Aside from those two aspects of the movie, there's nothing else worth your time in this jar of Granny's Peach Tea. (less)

Director Zack Snyder can always be counted on for great visuals and action sequences. He mostly delivers in this regard, especially in Batman scenes. Ben Affleck is terrific as the dark knight, and I am anxious to see him in future installments. Sadly, like in Man of Steel, I don't think anyone working on these films has any idea what to do with Superman. While Batman's motivations for going after Supes are well plotted and resonant, I had no idea why Superman had a beef with Batman. Because he goes after bad guys and brands them? It's really nothing much different than he himself is doing.

The storytelling in this movie is extremely sub-par. The first hour and a half or so are a mishmash of scenes of Bruce, Clark, Lois, Lex, and wheelchair guy doing their own thing, without much story to it all. I am left with so many questions as to why certain characters do anything, other than that WB wanted to put together a Justice League movie as quickly as possible, to the detriment of this movie. Character motivations (with the exception of Batman) are an afterthought, the fight scenes are okay, and Doomsday the cave troll was spoiled by the trailer. I had very high hopes for this, and was really let down.

I gave this an extra half a star for Wonder Woman's scenes. I want to see her movie yesterday. (less)