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|Sid James||Sid Carter|
|Kenneth Williams||Sir Bernard Cutting|
|Charles Hawtrey||Dr. Francis A. Goode|
|Joan Sims||Mrs. Tidey|
|Bernard Bresslaw||Ernie Bragg|
|Kenneth Cope||Cyril Carter|
|Terry Scott||Dr. Prodd|
|Barbara Windsor||Nurse Susan Ball|
|Kenneth Connor||Mr. Tidey|
|Patsy Rowlands||Evelyn Banks|
|Amelia Bayntun||Mrs. Jenkins|
Sid Carter (Sid James) is the cunning head of a criminal gang that includes the longhaired drip Ernie Bragg (Bernard Bresslaw), the cheeky Freddy (Bill Maynard) and Sid's son, Cyril (Kenneth Cope). Cyril disguises himself as a new nurse in order to case a maternity hospital and the booty - the hospital's stock of contraceptive pills. The "Head Chopper" at the hospital, Sir Bernard Cutting (Kenneth Williams), is convinced he's undergoing a sex change while the nutty Dr F.A. Goode (Charles Hawtrey) dishes out psychiatric mumbo jumbo. The hard working Matron (Hattie Jacques) has more than enough to contend with on the wards, with the troublesome Mrs Tidey (Joan Sims) who seems more interested in eating than producing a baby and her loyal, British Rail worker husband (Kenneth Connor) who continually hangs around the waiting room. Waiting. Cyril is picked out by notorious "bird-watcher" Dr Prodd (Terry Scott) and goes back to his place in order to get a map of the hospital. The poor doc gets a shock when the lovely "nurse" turns out to be a crook in a frock. However, "she" makes headline news when film star Jane Darling (Valerie Leon) hails "her" a heroine for helping her through her pregnancy. The Sister (Jacki Piper) desperately tries to keep the ward in order, while Cutting's secretary, Miss Banks (Patsy Rowlands) keeps her employer in check but nothing can cool his pent-up desire to prove himself as a man ... and it's Matron who's in his sights! The criminal gang don disguises - Sid dresses as the foreign Dr Zhivago and Ernie as a heavily expectant mum - but the crime is thwarted by the mothers-to-be. The medical hierarchy's threat to call the police is halted when Sid reveals the heroine of the day is a man. Cyril weds his shapely nurse, Susan Ball (Barbara Windsor) and Matron finally gets her doctor.